A better way to raise a family?



0º 26.650s 125º 43.010w

Tue Apr 30 2019

Isabel and I didn’t have children, but I did scratch that itch a bit by helping to raise a kid. Valley Big Brothers and Big Sisters in Phoenix introduced me to Joe Verason when he was 8 years old, and we did our best to spend a good part of one day a week until he graduated high school at 18. Joe has had a lot of challenges in his lifetime, but now in his 30’s he is a loving dad and provides for his family. He frustrated the hell out of me over the early years, but I’m darned proud of him now.
It turns out a lot of young couples are out here sailing around Mexico, around the South Pacific, around the world. Many of them are raising small children, toddlers in some cases, all the way to young adults about ready for college. We call them “kid boats”. They use home schooling materials to meet public education policy standards, then supplement the material with the natural world around them. It’s amazing how much more excited a kid can get about biology or physics if they get to go snorkeling every day, or if they learn to surf. The influence of local, regional and global weather patterns are abundantly apparent and more easily understood. The mechanics of mast and rigging, winches or diesel engines becomes second nature. The hydrodynamics of a hull or propeller moving through the water, or the aerodynamics of sail shapes become obvious.
These children learn to accept great resposibility at a young age. They stand watches, prepare meals, assist in boat repairs and maintenance. And all the while, they’re aware of the natural world around them. They swim with dolphins and sea lions and whale sharks, they witness first hand humpback whales teaching their babies to play. They catch, clean, and prepare fish for meals. They see plastic trash floating in the sea and on some of the remotest beaches in the world, and they understand how mankind is trashing mother Earth.
They sense and respect how dangerous this maritime environment can be, and they learn to be careful. They learn a strong sense of family, and to play well with kids of all ages from other boats. They look after one another.
Our friends Jack and Nicole Midence on SV Let It Be have two small children. They’re a blast to be around, and it’s amazing to watch them play in the rigging, swinging about in a bosun’s chair suspended from a spare halyard. There’s no parent shrieking at them to “get down from there”. They’re given just about enough rope to hang themselves, and they’ve learned what lines not to cross.
Behan and Jamie Gifford on SV Totem just sent their oldest off the college last Fall. They’ve got two more getting ready for college. All were raised on a sailboat, and they made their way slowly around the world over a 10 year period. Imagine the cultures they’ve experienced, the diffences in beliefs and attitudes. Jamie recently told me that the kids have experieced 100 churches, mosques, temples and sacred animistic grounds. They’re open minded, critical thinkers.
An encounter with one of these boat kids is initially a confusing and bizarre experience. It’s like having an intelligent conversation with a very small adult. They’re wise and mature way beyond their years, and yet they still know how to play and socialize with individuals of all ages.
Behan and Jamie keep a blog, something like www.sailingtotem.com, and absolutely worth a look. They’re an interesting couple, and remind me of husband and wife teams who run a restaurant, but who take turns running the front of the house or cooking. Jamie is a former America’s Cup sail maker and rigger who has extremely depth in all things sailboats. Behan is a great writer and skilled photographer; she documents their adventures on the blog. Together they mentor people who want to transition to this lifestyle.
Behan recently told us that she occasionally gets hate mail from folks who think they are horrible parents for raising their kids this way. Ignorance is bliss. Stupid is as stupid does, Forrest Gump. . .
The litmus test is when these kids go to public high school so they can participate in competitive organized sports like football, or when they go off to college. They find themselves bored because they are so far ahead in their studies, and they’re amazed at how much time is wasted in traditional classroom education. They’re surpised at how their chronological peers are years behind in maturity and social skills.
There’s more than one way to skin a cat.

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